07 December 2011

Ryanair

I had a little rant last week about Ryanair.  Those of you in the UK will be familiar with them, and their method of business.  But I'm not sure all of you know what they are like.

A friend sent us this joke, which although it's a joke, it is explains EXACTLY what Ryanair are like. 

 
"Spare a thought for Michael O'Leary, Chief Executive of no frills cheap flights  'Ryanair'.......

Arriving in a hotel in Dublin, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness.

The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."

Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

 "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman.

"And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"

"That is truly remarkable value" Michael comments.

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 euros please."

O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, do you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euros. You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro.   I think you may to be too big for that seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"

Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains

"Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir"

O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up.

"I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euros."

O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter and yelled,

"This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be another 2 euros please."

O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cents per second"


  "I will never use this bar again" shouted the Ryanair CEO.

"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro".




Thanks for the many suggestions last week,  to phone up and get everything sorted to my satisfaction, but as you can see, that's just not an option with Ryanair!  I booked a second flight.  It was cheaper than the 110 Euro for the name change.  That's how they fill the planes - clever aren't they?

7 comments:

  1. Love that joke but do not love that you had to book another flight. That just sucks. Sorry it had to happen!

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  2. Ahhh sucks but booking another flight is certainly the cheaper, easier option... I'm guessing you dont have an alternative to go with?! Like Easyjet? (hahaha)

    !

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  3. OMG, I can't imagine that kind of service. I've been in quality management for 25 years, and I can't imagine that a company could stay in business for very long with that kind of service!

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  4. well said, and so true. funny but true!

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  5. Argh, what a bummer you have to use them. Tiger Air is like that here in Oz, fortunately I don't have to use them and never will.
    I can't understand why people would ever fly them (unless theyhad to) and that they can still stay in business. It makes me both mad and sad that companies are so unscrupulous and that all they care about is the bottom line.

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  6. Ryanair is evil! Bastards.

    Sorry to hear you had to book another flight but at least it was the cheaper option. 110 pounds for a name change is utterly ridiculous.

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